Am I Green?

I work for a company that deals with natural and green products. I try to buy in bulk to save on shipping costs. I try to turn lights off when I leave a room. I carpool to work whenever possible. I believe that we need to try and cut down on our carbon footprint. I admire those that build green houses and use wind power or alternate ways of getting energy. I admire all these things, but at the same time - I really don't think I'm green enough.

But at least my little bit helps right?

Christmas money? Christmas pictures

I've been scheming with an idea in my head for awhile. All involving me taking family photos for friends and family of them, their kids, their dogs, whatever and try to earn some extra cash.

In a previous life, I was a pretty good photographer. People brought their families and their children to me so that I could capture all the happy memories for their family. I haven't done this in a few years - and people have been asking why I'm not doing it anymore.

I'm thinking what I'd like to do is start up my own mini little business where one or two days in say November, I set up the house and do photos for people. Now comes the hard part - how much do I charge? And should I do prints, or give people the right to have the photos printed themselves? I've always been a firm believer that people should have a bit of the ability to get whatever sizes and stuff they need for their prints. Therefore, I lean more to sitting fees.

The studio that I worked in had sitting fees to begin with but soon did without to set them apart from other studios. It seemed pretty fair, considering the fees covered the cost of the photographer - and the portrait fee paid for the equipment and prints. To be honest, I have no idea how they made any money after they got rid of the sitting fees. But it worked - we had so much business that it was easy to grow the company.

To be honest, I do miss the creative opportunities within that field. But at the same time, it was very exhausting. Making people smile every day isn't easy. Amazingly no matter how mad or how sick or how terrible they treated me - I needed to continue to smile and continue to be happy. I realized that it wasn't the new childs fault that the last one had spit in my face, and it wasn't that the baby hated me when they puked all over my clothing. The parent wasn't really angry with my behaviour when their child chose to run around screaming because they didn't want to sit still. It was a hard life - but I loved creating memories for people. It wasn't about the pictures - anyone can do that. It was helping people capture that moment - the first Christmas, the first tooth, the four generations, the cousins, the birthdays, the family time. It was precious to be able to be there for these people and see their smiles when they see the finished product.

I love walking into someone's house only to find that there are pictures in frames or on the fridge of a smiling child or family and you know that you took that photo.

So this year, I'll talk to my mom - see about using her tree and her fireplace, decorating a little early perhaps - and helping capture some memories again. Good times. Good times.

the klan

Controversial topic today = The Ku Klux Klan

Due to ignorance, and mob mentality, I can completely understand how the Ku Klux Klan was started and grew so large.

I personally try not to be a racist.

I try to get to know people for people's sake and don't want to judge a book by it's cover.

But going back several years, the world was a different place. One simple generation ago, it was not acceptable to be friends with someone outside your race. You could not even be seen talking to someone of a different race, unless it was in a service situation. People of different colours were not welcome on buses, and in schools where white people were. Even those of different religions were ostracized - different sexes were excluded from doing each other's roles. Men had manly jobs and females had womanly jobs. The poor didn't socialize with the rich and the world was a completely different place.

The Ku Klux Klan was able to grow and continues to have members due to a lack of knowledge of each other. They wanted to belong, so they joined their brothers and stood up for what they thought was right. They became a mob and grew to really become something so filled with hate. These people were our neighbours and our coworkers and people that some would call friendly. What made them so different? Ignorance.

I am a white female, born from white parents. But as a female, I have faced prejudice from certain activities that I could've excelled at. Certain sports were deemed inappropriate for my sex. And although I could skate circles around most of the boys in my power skating class - they looked at me as too feminine to be a real challenge on the ice. They would tease and taunt and insult me because I was a girl. When in reality, I was a human being. But I had it easy compared to most.

I look at how far our world has come, and I see wonderful human beings from all walks of life and it makes me so proud. Your skin colour doesn't really matter anymore. You aren't judged by your religion and you aren't looked down apon for who you talk to and what your interests are... much. I had to add much because we are not a perfect society. But we are working to learn about each other, and to get past the ignorance and the intollerance that once ruled our world.

I thank god that I was not around in an area or a time when the Ku Klux Klan were king.

My own personal doll house

My husband and I are starting to look at the daunting task of buying a house.

Everyone told us to start with getting preapproved. We've done that and both feel that it's a little higher than we both wanted it to be. Apparently this is quite common and we need to really think about what really works for us.

The city we are looking at living in has three towns that amalgamated to bring it all together back in 1973. Galt, which is the biggest of the three was a city already. Preston was a town and Hespeler was a village. As both James and I work in Guelph we are both looking at something that will allow us ease of travel. Also, he has family that lives out of town in the opposite direction, so he wants whereever we live to be fairly easy to find from a major highway. Essentially, he wants to avoid the subdivisions unless, it is something just off the secondary or tertiary roads. I can understand that.

With our price limit that we've voluntarially set upon ourselves, we are a little limited. But we've come to understand some of our likes and dislikes for what we are looking for.

Here is a brief checklist of what we want:

• Two or three bedrooms minimum
• If only two bedrooms, must have a den or a finished basement as we need to have an office
• Kitchen space is very important - as my hubby loves to cook
• Outside space for entertaining is important, but does not need to be overly large and does not need to be overly landscaped
• We do not want a pool or a hottub - even though they'd be fun - the upkeep is just too much
• We do not want to live on a major road, but wouldn't be against living just off of it
• We need to have parking for two if not three cars - as Cambridge does not allow you to park on the street overnight
• A fenced yard is preferred as we want space for a dog to run
• Closet space will be neccessary - we've lived without closests and it was a nightmare
• Our house must have a bit of cute factor
• Although we'd like the convenience of a newer house, we really like the look of older homes
• We've decided not to build new
• We would prefer to not have a townhouse or a semi - as we'd like to have our own property
• We want to have mature trees, or some other way that our yard has privacy - we do not want our neighbours staring in on us and we don't want to stare in on them
• More than one bathroom would be ideal, but is not a dealbreaker
• We are not afraid to put in a few changes to make the house our own, but don't want to have a complete fixer upper either

It's such a long list, and it will be interesting to see our journey.

This weekend, we went to some open houses. We saw a 30 year old home that needs some updating. It was a sidesplit and very open concept with original hardwood floors. There were lots of bathrooms and a finished basement recroom area. The house was okay, but the kitchen needed a full overhaul and potentially a few walls knocked down. The people were already out and were open to offers. But there was something about the house that I just didn't like. It was a bit dark and the neighbourhood isn't my ideal. The price was really high too - being $15,000 over where we wanted to even look. James liked it though, and saw the potential. I just think it'd be too much work needed before it really felt like my home. Does that make sense? The yard had a great big tree, but he front just looked neglected. I know with some love it would look better but the curb appeal just left me wanting more. It was a corner lot, so you saw it from both ways down the street. I was a bit disappointed for the price and the amount of work needed.

We went to another open house and from the street it was amazing. James said "There's no way we can afford this house." When I told him the price was $20,000 less than the one we had seen previously he was surprised. It was an older home, and pretty narrow but two stories and red brick, which seems to be my dream lately. It was decorated really nicely and had original hardwood floors that had loving wear and tear but were in good condition. The backyard was amazing and even had a little playground for our future kids. It was landscaped well, and wouldn't require much work due to stones and mulch. But there were problems too. The bedrooms were SOOOO tiny. The master was only 8x10. The bathroom wasn't bad - but I liked the clawfoot tub - I'm a sucker for old houses. There were no closets really to speak of. They had finished the basement with a rec room and had two little storage rooms. But it was so cold and musty down there that I don't think I'd feel comfortable down there. The staircases were very narrow, and it made me wonder how they got the couch down there in the first place. The kitchen was very small and had very little counter space. It was very cosy, and pretty much move in ready - but there was no chance to fix the problems there. Can't even expand any bedrooms as there just isn't any space in the house.

All in all, it was a sad day for open houses. But it allowed us to really talk and get a feel for neighbourhoods and the size of rooms. We were able to see what we didn't want, and that to me is a positive outcome. James has been avoiding, because he wants to move in the spring. I'm glad he's starting to come around and we can start to learn about each other and what we really want. Hopefully, we can find our find what we want and can really honestly find that sweet little gem that we can call home.

Porno?

Porn.

I know, I know. Not something I talk about much.

I've always been pretty progressive, knowing that men like it a lot and that there is not a hell of a lot you can do about it. One thing I've always held onto is that it should be out in the open if you like it. No need to sneak around. There's something about sneaking around that seems almost like cheating.

In the past, I've spent time with men from different ends of the spectrum. One boy that I knew was very disgusted by the thought of it. He liked looking at tasteful pictures with some sexy bodies but clothed enough that you don't see anything. The thought of watching a video interested him, but then wasn't that into it when it was on.

Another guy I knew spent his entire life talking about it, seeking it out. He came by it honestly - his father was also addicted. I believe he would be what you call a nymphomaniac. The boy - not the dad. He used to laugh when you'd walk in the house late at night and his dad would be sitting in the dark watching the weather channel. His dad used the music from the weather network to hide the music that he was listening to moments before on the video.

Then there was a completely different guy that I knew. He was ashamed because of his little internet porn addiction. I think he felt that I would fear it dirty or be ashamed. When I walked in on him the first time he had a look of pure guilt. But I just asked what he was looking at and kept on walking towards him. We had a very honest and frank discussion about girls that he was looking at and he told me that he liked seeing the pictures and that they made him feel good. I was cool with it and told him, and let him know that it didn't have to be a secret. It was something that interested him and I understand the need to take care of yourself.

All three of these guys had different feelings and opinions on porn and sitting here tonight made me start thinking about what my thoughts and feelings are on the matter.

I personally, am not against porn. I've just made the decision not to seek it out.

I like men, and like looking at men - but frankly the male penis is not something that I need to see flaunted for the world to see. I would prefer for the shots to be tasteful and perhaps with some sort of garment, or towel or something to hide this part.

I really like brunettes, and if I had at some point to give a fantasy to my partner where I was involved with a female - she'd have to be completely hot with long brown hair. Any other fantasy chick just won't fly and I'll lose interest much faster than he will.

I do not like the idea of someone I am with looking at amateur internet porn. My reason is this - the girls that are all done up and airbrushed and everything are not real. But the amateur stuff - this could be someone that they could really meet and really be with. I do not like the idea of chatting online with someone sexually - unless that person is completely unattainable. Say your Jenna Jamison's.

I also do not want to make any videos of myself in the act... of well anything sexual. Especially now that I'm married. I have to much respect for my husband to be wanting to have anything like that hanging around - even if he is the main star in the show. We're planning on kids someday and I don't want anything like that falling into the wrong hands.

Porn shouldn't be a secret between two people that care about each other. If you like it, you like it. No need to lie. The only time it will ever be a problem is if the time spent with the pictures or movies is preventing me from having a good time too - or if the person they are looking at becomes too real.

And that ladies and gentleman - is what I think about porn.